Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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