we have officially lost it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
