So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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