Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
