she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
