I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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