how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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