Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
