I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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