margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
