it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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