some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
