Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
