sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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