I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
