it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
