there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
