I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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