dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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