the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
