I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
