he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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