i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
