$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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