thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
