We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
