3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
