Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
