Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
