I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
