like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
