He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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