Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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