Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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