Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
