I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
NoShamevember. You game?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
