don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
