So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
