my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
