i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
