Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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