Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
