I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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