you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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