We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
