booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He better not be in your backpack
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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