I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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