Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
