i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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