I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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