Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
