Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
