I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
