worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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