whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
